Something Exciting
by Takiri
Summary: Lavi is being ridiculous and hyper. How far will Allen and Kanda go to humor their friend, and when is it no longer just humoring? LaviKandaAllen. Warnings: M is for "mmmm... yaoismut..."


**Okay, so I just found out that (for those of you following scanlations) the next chapter of DGM is going to come out on August 17 in Akamaru Jump and it's going to be FIFTY PAGES LONG!!!! So I'm relatively ECSTATIC and practically about to EXPLODE. The sole purpose of this fanfic was to be able to write this little note at the top. But please, read on once you've calmed down (which took me about ten minutes of silent screaming and wandering around like a zombie). I don't actually know what I'm going to write for the fanfic yet, but it's gonna be utter CRACK!!!!**

**Oh yeah, and I don't own DGM.**

"Baka usagi, calm the fuck down."

Lavi looked at the swordsman—who was glaring back at him with a fair amount of understated irritation—and exclaimed, "But I can't!"

"What are you so excited about, Lavi?" asked Allen.

"I don't know!!! I just feel like something incredibly awesome is about to happen!!!"

"Che. He probably just ate a cake for dinner again."

Allen looked thoughtful. "But I do that all the time without acting that way."

"You're a moyashi, not an usagi. Get off me!"

Lavi had thrown himself around Kanda's neck from behind.

"But Yuuuuu, I looooooove you! Hahaha, I love Yuu. You. Yuu."

"Off!!!" Displaced air whooshed as Mugen was unsheathed, but still Lavi did not let go. Which may have been oddly coherent of him since Kanda could not actually attack the exorcist very well while he was clinging to his back. Except that there was a wall nearby that Kanda could slam Lavi into, so Lavi had to let go in order to avoid getting a concussion.

"Hey, careful Kanda! Looks like you're the one that needs to calm down!" taunted Lavi from a safe distance away.

"You guys," groaned Allen. "Can we not destroy this room while another is still being repaired?"

"Keep the rabbit off me then!"

"Lavi, leave him alone."

"…Can I cling to you instead then?"

"What the… fine, whatever."

"Yay!" Lavi glomped Allen, crashing them both into a table.

"Hey! No destroying the room!" warned Allen.

"Aww…"

"Lavi!"

"Alright…"

Allen shook his head. Or tried to. He was more or less pinned after all, and Lavi seemed content to cuddle against him right there. Allen looked to Kanda, a plea in his eyes. The swordsman scowled, but the general message of 'I saved you from him, you owe me' came across. Kanda sighed.

"Oy, baka usagi. Tables aren't for sitting on."

"Yuu is no fun!" complained Lavi, but dragged Allen to a sofa anyway, keeping his arms locked around the other's waist like a vice. Allen shot a grateful look to Kanda, who simply rolled his eyes.

"So, uh, how did your mission go, Kanda?" Allen asked said exorcist, who had returned a few hours earlier.

"False alarm. Got some akuma anyway."

"Not a total waste then I guess. Um… what are you doing, Lavi?"

"Smelling you," was the muffled reply. Allen shot Kanda another desperate look, but the older teen didn't seem to think he owed Allen anything anymore. Then Allen felt something wet touch his skin. "Mmm… You taste as good as you smell."

Allen opened and closed his mouth and tried to enlist Kanda's aid again. He couldn't catch his eye though because Kanda was looking at Lavi with shock. Or perhaps it was outright horror. It was hard to tell what the Japanese teen was feeling when it wasn't some variation of fury.

"Stop that, Lavi," tried Allen. It failed. "Lavi! Cut it out!" That failed, too. "Kanda…" No, he wasn't even going to bother. Allen decided to try talking to Lavi again, but just as he opened his mouth, it was covered by Lavi's lips. "Mmph!" The arms that had been around Allen's waist moved, pinning Allen's own arms. Trapped like that, Allen couldn't help but notice that Lavi, bookman or no, was an experienced kisser. Faced with that, he supposed this was okay after all and wondered if the memory of Kanda being in the room was the only thing keeping him from responding to Lavi's curious tongue and needy lips.

Lavi ground against Allen, eliciting a soft noise from the teen beneath him. He opened his eye and saw that Allen's were half-shut and misty. Smirking, he moved his mouth along Allen's jaw, pausing to explore the curves and cartilage of the younger's ear before delicately sucking and biting at the place where neck and jaw meet. The resulting gasp pleased him.

Allen was pulled from his reverie by Lavi whispering.

"Hey, Allen. Let's have Yuu-chan join."

Allen followed Lavi's gaze to where the Kanda sat rigidly. He hadn't heard Lavi, but he shrank back involuntarily at the sight of three lust-filled eyes upon him. Lavi stood, pulling Allen with him.

"C'mon, Yuu-chan. It'll be fun."

Kanda made to stand, but Lavi was quick enough to stop him, using his and Allen's body weights to force the Japanese teen back to the chair.

"Let me up." Allen thought Kanda's voice sounded nervous.

"No way. Not until you give us a kiss."

"You're out of your fucking mind, crazy rabbit."

Lavi ignored him and swooped in to catch Kanda's mouth before it closed. When Lavi pulled back, Kanda looked unnerved.

"There, you've had your kiss then. Let me up."

"You didn't give it to me though, and Allen hasn't had one either." Allen meanwhile was wondering how Lavi was strong enough to keep both he and Kanda where he wanted them, more lucid now that Lavi's mouth was occupied with other things.

"Usagi…"

"Two little kisses, Yuu?"

Kanda sighed, then glared briefly at Lavi's lips before tilting his head up to give Lavi his one little kiss. Lavi, however, was less inclined to keep it to just that. Kanda tensed at first as Lavi forced the kiss to continue, but once he became resigned to it, Lavi moved the arm designated to keeping Kanda in the chair so that his hand could twine through his hair. He undid the knot holding Kanda's hair in its customary ponytail, receiving no protest. Lavi ended the kiss gently and felt a surge of triumph and pleasure at the result of his endeavors: an expression on Kanda's face that the swordsman would no doubt later deny fervently.

Remembering he had two toys in tow, Lavi looked at Allen who had failed to remain composed despite his best efforts. Instead, he appeared to be deciding whether he should throw himself on Lavi or Kanda. Lavi made the decision for him and pulled the youngest of the three between himself and Kanda so that Allen and Lavi both straddled Kanda, but leaving Lavi with the ability to control just how closely they were pressed together. Allen and Kanda gasped as Lavi pushed them closer together, but it was of their own free will that their lips met. It was a less refined kiss, lacking an expert mouth, but neither teen cared especially as their bodies pressed so close, rubbing together with Lavi's movements. Allen could tell that all three of them were hard.

Lavi resumed his ministrations to Allen's neck, this time using his teeth more and making the youngest moan into his kiss with Kanda. Allen shifted his body to create friction against the bodies around him.

Suddenly, Lavi was on his feet, taking Allen with him. Both Allen and Kanda protested.

"We're moving to Kanda's room. Mine's shared," stated Lavi by means of explanation. Neither Allen nor Kanda seemed to think this was relevant and had to be dragged along for a while before realizing it would be quickest just to go along with this dumb rabbit who was thinking of something other than touching and kissing and the bed in Kanda's room next to the nightstand where Lavi threw Kanda's key. How could he not have noticed the rabbit being a pickpocket? Oh well. At least he did notice the door was shut and locked and… Usagi and Moyashi on his bed without him. That was inexcusable.

When Kanda joined them on the bed, Lavi pushed him on Allen so he could watch them as he took off his belt and coat, pausing only to take a small bottle from it and place it on the nightstand, and his boots and socks, leaving only his pants and thin shirt. He then turned his attention to the other teens' clothes, reaching around Kanda to undo his coat and belt. He tossed the belt to the floor and moved a compliant Kanda's arms to remove the coat. A similar sound caught Lavi's attention and he noticed Allen's clothes appearing on the floor as Kanda caught on. A soft gasp notified Lavi that the Japanese teen had taken it one step further. A moan made that two.

Lavi rolled to the side so he could watch as Kanda slowly licked Allen's erection, pausing at the top to suck on the head. Allen tried to stay silent as he arched off the bed. His moan ran through Lavi like a chill as Kanda slipped his lips around the member and engulfed it with his mouth. Lavi had never considered before how the bobbing motion mimicked thrusting hips so well. He found himself gripping the sheets almost as firmly as Allen, sacrificing indulgence for, well, another form of indulgence. It couldn't last too long anyway.

Allen's hips bucked violently. Kanda held them down. Allen cried out and Lavi watched his face transform with what would, in any other situation, look like pain. Right then, it looked like the hottest thing Lavi had ever seen.

As Kanda sat up, Lavi let his attention shift. He caught Kanda's face with one hand and leaned in to lick a creamy smear at the corner of his mouth. Then his tongue continued inward, seeking more of this taste that Kanda suddenly couldn't help but find erotic. When Allen had recovered enough to pay attention to his surrounding, he found himself growing hard again at the sight of the two older males heading much in the same direction as he and Kanda had just gone.

Lavi and Kanda seemed to think of removing the other's last remaining clothes at the same time because that is what they did. Allen watched as cloth slowly slid away to reveal tan and creamy skin. Kanda let Lavi push him to the mattress and crouch above him, lowering down so that skin and lips could touch, move against each other. Precum fell to Kanda's stomach in occasional dots, pale stars against his skin.

Lavi shifted his mouth to Kanda's neck, moving towards his chest. Allen took the opportunity to seize the swordsman's lips for himself. Kanda reached up to stroke Allen's fully returned erection, enticing moans that made his body react in ways that in turn encouraged Lavi to explore him further. The way he shuddered when Lavi licked the hardened nubs of his nipples for instance, or when he ran his nails lightly along his side from ribs to hip.

Lavi's touch was gone from Kanda for a moment, though he was busy enough with Allen not to pay it much mind. He couldn't help but notice when something wet pushed into his anus. He broke away from Allen for a moment and noticed the bottle Lavi had removed from his jacket earlier.

"What are you doing?"

"Just relax, Yuu. This might hurt a bit, but you'll enjoy it soon. I promise."

"Ow! Baka usagi, stop!" Kanda felt a second finger enter him and work with the first to stretch him. Allen was fascinated and decided to see if he could help Lavi's efforts. He moved further down the bed and ran his tongue along Kanda's member, mixing pleasure with the pain signals.

"Nng!" Kanda was caught off-guard.

Allen took Kanda into his mouth as Lavi inserted a third finger. Kanda groaned, torn between two contradicting feelings. Lavi pushed deeper and suddenly there was just the one. Kanda's eyes widened and a small moan passed his lips as Lavi rubbed the spot of flesh he'd found. With a small smile, he withdrew. Kanda nearly whimpered with the loss, but that was something he just didn't do.

"Put them back!" he demanded instead, making Lavi's smile grow.

"Don't worry, Yuu. We're not finished."

Lavi crawled behind Kanda, making him sit up. Allen drew back as Lavi pulled Kanda onto his lap. He lifted the slightly smaller exorcist up, positioning him. Kanda winced and let out a groan of pain as Lavi impaled him on his erection. Lavi whispered small noises of comfort as Kanda shivered from the sudden burn. Allen leaned in one again and placed butterfly kisses across Kanda's face, then his chest. A few seconds passed.

"Move, usagi," said Kanda, grinding his hips backward.

Lavi responded immediately, his hips rising and falling as he eased himself deeper into Kanda. Allen had made his way back to Kanda's own erection and the Japanese teen moaned quietly as the thrusts of his and Lavi's hips finally brought that Nirvanic contact that sent his head spinning.

Kanda hazily reached for Lavi's bottle and coated his fingers with its contents. He reached under Allen and began preparing him in the same way Lavi had, though in an admittedly hurried fashion. Allen cried out in pain and Lavi moved one of his hands off Kanda's waist to distract the youngest. After Kanda decided Allen was ready enough, he added lubricant to his erection, pulled him onto his lap so they were facing each other, and thrust inside. Soon, Allen's heavy pants and light moans joined those of Kanda and Lavi, who continued to stroke the only naked erection.

Kanda's thrusts grew harder first, driven by the double pleasure of penetrating and being penetrated. Lavi's breath hitched as Kanda's muscles worked harder, tensing with effort, and he masturbated Allen faster. Allen shouted wordlessly and bucked his hips with a new sharpness; short, hard movements. His muscles spasmed, then tightened. Their clench around Kanda made the Japanese exorcist open his mouth in a silent scream as he, too, succumbed to the ecstasy that both seemed to stop his heart and made him feel more alive than ever. Lavi released inside of Kanda just as Allen collapsed against the Japanese. Then he, too, slumped forward while waiting for his body to calm. Caught in the middle, Kanda smiled and closed his eyes.

After several long minutes, the three parted to clean themselves up, then piled back on the little bed to fall asleep until at least mid-afternoon the next day.

**Aww how cute… I think it might've even progressed from plain old crack to good old smut, hehe. Hope you enjoyed, or at least freaked out about DGM news.**

**Woah, weird. My computer says "exstatic" and "Exstatic" are misspellings, but "EXSTATIC" is perfectly okay… I just caught that from the first author's note because I was too crackheaded back when I wrote it to notice.**

**Umm yeah I think that's it. Review and all that good stuff if you think this slice of insanity deserves it cuz it's nice to know when I amuse people or otherwise make them enjoy their existences a little more, or so that I know how to improve in the future.**


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